19.9.26
dad, it's been a minute since we last spoke you + I. this was the first summer w/o you here . and I felt that. at times people tried in vain to suppress such instead of giving themselves permission to feeeeeel. repression is toxicity of the soul. why fight what is? and I believe this absolute fear of vulnerability is what deadens people really. they want to be stronger, tougher, more resilient. like Frodo Baggins with the one ring. but in the end? even Frodo failed. it took a bigger failure, Golum to be the unintentional hero. as if feeling(s) were an inconvenience, an obstacle. which is weird given every emotional retard basks in these Hobby Lobby feel good euphemisms, therapist language, and toxic positivity. now I know what the author of crying in Hmart was rambling on about in her stupid book (a stupid book my cuz kept insisting I read). I say stupid b/c the girl doesn't even look half Korean, sounds like an annoying genZ who somehow turned Hmart into her own personal ...
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☀️summer notes
2026
As The World Turns
jouirnal
19.9.26
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this ♪'s for you :: “We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.” ― Pascal Mercier , Night Train to Lisbon
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quote ♪
18.9.26
18.9.26
nobody hardly ever reads post #1-#10, so anything goes here. this isn't filler, it's emotional content + also maybe something intellectually titillating (uhhhh, huhhhuhuhuhuhuh I said tit). today's topic is, boys + girls: communication. something we simultaneously are the haves + have nots. during the heady infancy heydaze of the information superhighway, we didn't overthink shit. we used it, we learned to use it (from others, or through study). we used it if there was some ROI, and that was usually validated through human responses we got in return. go on irc and have a lengthy conversation in a group chat about whatever. you meet some quality people and then some you wish you never had knowledge of. like in the movie Spotless Mind where Jim Carrey effectively does brain damage to himself to erase his ex, back alley labotomy in a sense. yet what we have now isn't legit communication. its synthetic, fake af communication. you and I can be talking, whether shallo...
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2026
blog
18.9.26
18.9.26
I just started the 🔥 Denmark chick Maria Sten's Neagley spin off, in which she plays a P.I in my neck of the woods: Chicago. and well I have a soft spot for chicks with 🧬genetically blessed ass-ets (and boobies too huhuhuhuhuhuhuh) get it? assets, sounds like ass, yeah I thought it was clever too. anyways, the deadly sniper super assassin, with her gorgeous soulful eyes + tough chick attitude is busy having fun and investigating a secret farm cult who might of had something to do with her bff's unusual death (on the el tracks, yeeshhhhhhhh). I guess I found myself a bit homesick watching this and haven't finished the first episode (yet). but watching her + Reacher at a cubs game made me lose my shit. anyways, I can't explain it to non-Chicago peeps much. in the words of that famous poet, Spike Spiegel : I just love a chick who can kick my own ass.
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2026
u watchy now!
18.9.26
I know that's right been around the world and I I I I can't find my baby I don't know and I don't know why why she's gone away and I don't where she can be...my baby...but I'm gonna find her... I see too many nerds who overtly g33kspeak, lovers of their own language + ideas, looking for adulation, props, and reactions from random people. sometimes I think, and I really do think they're just so full of hot steaming bullshyiatttttt that they themselves believe their own bull$hyiatttt. I see it in the art world, in certain writer's circles, design also (especially). it's the same ole shit: invent some shit, pimp it as being well thought out, hand crafted, whatever other bullshit you can think of. if we just look to the fake geniuses of rupi kaur, Attiticus, or Banksy we can see precisely what I'm talking about: fake ass genZ 'geniuses' who became internet famous. Banksy's a friggin master art world bullshitter. any legit graffiti...
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2026
blog
18.9.26
Ecclesiastes 3:1–8: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
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18.9.26
I was perusing a few 'underground' sites (lolz:not) of various individuals. so cookie cutter, dry, dull, lifeless. and these are supposed to be sharp, classy individuals, blehehehe. shit is there some master template everybodies just recycling to be one of the in crowd? starting to wonder b/c that's what I'm getting. and I have to say the only one I found with an infusion of personality was a nerd girl's variation (she's an artist + computer geek apparently). I noticed that everyone wrote, designed and created shit to draw attention to themselves much. like everything had to pimp themselves as brand. conditioning from social media, recommend deprogramming at once. boring people isn't the same thing as wowing them. you just don't have the wow factor I guess. this is a pattern emerging here: the rejects, or the 'dissidents' not getting much attention from the attention deficit economy seek attention in other ways. flocking together, making the s...
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cyberspace
internet cultu̷r̷e̷
18.9.26
17.9.26
“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.” ― Dante Alighieri
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quote ♪
17.9.26
I gleaned this simple habitual ritual from an old article in GQ once, not that I read such trash but I was waiting on my doctors appointment. It stuck with me bc at that blast from the past female doctors still checked our junk + well being a guy naturally it's quite excitable inducing when a female does an equipment safety inspection.especially when she's not terribly hideous though she wasn't a Victorian Secret model by any means blehehehehe. By the wry gleam in her eye she seemed like she preferred a more.thorough, comprehensive oral exam to verify the equipment functions just fine heh heh. Well in the morning (all mornings not just one) , besides making your bed up, drink + savor a cup of coffee. Which I think most normal peeps do but Im supposing they mean do it you know extra classy style like a James Bond moment (and I'm all classy anyways so it works out for everybody). Side note here if u have some hot hunnie in your bed make her one too, but not if she's n...
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blog
fun
happy
love
2026
17.9.26
17.9.26
every so often a pair of geniuses comes as a blip on my radar to pay heed to. these lunatics decided to cut down a famous sycamore tree at Hadrian's wall one day, for internet fame. so, isn't it safe to say it was the fault of the internet as well? possibly. the Sycamore gap tree being the name of said tree. anyways these IRL Beavis + Butthead's of the UK thought they'd get internet famous or go viral or something. I could only imagine what their conversation must've been: DAVE: Right. You ready? MARK: Yeah. DAVE: We're cutting down the tree. MARK: The massive famous tree? DAVE: The massive famous tree. MARK: Dude… DAVE: What? MARK: We're gonna go viral. DAVE: WE'RE GONNA GO VIRAL. MARK: Mate, imagine the views. DAVE: Ten million views. MARK: Twenty million. DAVE: One hundred million. MARK: A billion. DAVE: That's too many. MARK: Nah, mate. The internet's massive. DAVE: True. MARK: You reckon people will be an...
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2026
blog
weird news
17.9.26
a literary (why do they call it literary? do they liter allot or something? huhuhuhuhuh) zine compiling poetry dedicated to that ghettolicious gastronomically incorrect American version of Mexican food. https://tacobellquarterly.org/
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2026
bookmark 🔖
websites
15.9.26
communications disruptions "The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting." - Sun Tzu , The Art of War ^^^^ this is where Bruce Lee came up with that quote 'the art of fighting without fighting ' in Enter the Dragon 🐉. and if you never seen that, go watch that shit right now. and nowadays, an enemy can't fight you if you're fighting one another. we being the enemy of our mutual enemy: big gov, big tech, big pharma, big everything. its good they have that bigness b/c its an identifying marker to illustrate themselves as being exactly what they pretend they're not: your enemy. and enemies never want you to know their threat profile. trust + believe me I'm a secret agent. yet the primary tactic any enemy force almost always employs isn't ginormous bombs or bullshit, it's communication disruption. how can you organize, marshall, and plan w/o it? we spend insane time pretending to be communicating with people, when we'...
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2026
cyberspace
internet cultu̷r̷e̷
13.9.26
this isn't my first journal entry, its a preface to that. its to provide a mood setting if you will. its a mood enhancer, its an aperitif, like Kir Royale or something. elegant, refreshing, spritzy. something one would drink in a velvety lounge somewhere listening to Bossa Nova or acid jazz. I wasn't writing for a bit b/c sometimes writers need to recalibrate, rejuvenate, and reintegrate themselves. they can, they ought, and they shall. all creatives need this, this detachment period, this 'finding myself in the wilderness' and having meaningful exchanges with squirrels, deer, rabbits, and local hood rats trying to make bus fare and presenting their meager change. sometimes one can, and does meet + engage with interesting characters. at least for myself, not sure bout you or others. I'm not at all interesting much lately nowadays (was I ever? hard to tell). in only that I remain steadfastly uninteresting because (I don't like talking about it much) I'...
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2026
journal
