dad, it's been a minute since we last spoke you + I. this was the first summer w/o you here. and I felt that. at times people tried in vain to suppress such instead of giving themselves permission to feeeeeel. repression is toxicity of the soul. why fight what is? and I believe this absolute fear of vulnerability is what deadens people really. they want to be stronger, tougher, more resilient. like Frodo Baggins with the one ring. but in the end? even Frodo failed. it took a bigger failure, Golum to be the unintentional hero. as if feeling(s) were an inconvenience, an obstacle. which is weird given every emotional retard basks in these Hobby Lobby feel good euphemisms, therapist language, and toxic positivity. now I know what the author of crying in Hmart was rambling on about in her stupid book (a stupid book my cuz kept insisting I read). I say stupid b/c the girl doesn't even look half Korean, sounds like an annoying genZ who somehow turned Hmart into her own personal therapist. see that's messed up right there b/c most Korean's need therapy, being Korean isn't therapy ^_^
this was me emotionally when my dad passed:
he lived a very long, rich, and meaningful life. more than most individuals that I've known.
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